ACQUISITION ANNOUNCEMENT

In barely a year since it went online, TalkingCock.com evolved from a small, wuliao homepage into Singapore's most popular satirical humour website, featured in international media from the BBC to the Economist.

And now, TalkingCock.com is progressing to the next stage in its mission to get Singaporeans to celebrate and laugh at their own foibles.

Last week, after a round of frenzied late-night negotiations in a Singaporean restaurant in Los Angeles, TalkingCock.com was acquired by Lum Par Private Limited (LPPL).

The transfer was done for an undisclosed sum.

Said Lau Cheow, TalkingCock's chief technology officer, "Let's just say it was more than what our cheapo readership has been donating to us through Amazon.com. After reimbursing ourselves for all the costs we've borne over the past year, we had just enough to order a plate of hokkien mee."

LPPL, whose directors wish to remain anonymous, are a group of Singaporeans who want to ensure that TalkingCock's freewheeling humour content is preserved and maintained.

Said LPPL chairman Ho Seng Lee (not his real name), "Singaporeans with a real sense of humour are an endangered species. We want to help them propagate themselves."

LPPL, many of whom are working for top-notch tech companies in Singapore and the US, will be bringing greater technology and design elements to the site.

Said Mr. Ho Seng Lee, "The writing on TalkingCock, even though it's very Singaporean, is world class. However, in terms of layout and interactivity, it looks like it was done by a monkey."

TalkingCock's layout and design editor, Mr. Sun Wu Kong, agreed, saying, "Eek-eek-eek-eek, ooh, ooh, ooh, eeeeeek."

Some of the structural changes to TalkingCock.com that you can look forward to over the next few months include:

	A more user-friendly site layout and structure;
	Users will be able to search articles, columns and features by topic, date, and writer;
	Users can also post their comments and submit articles directly;
	The Coxford Singlish Dictionary and Tampenis Book of Uniquely Singaporean Records will be fully searchable;
	More interactive features;
	User-defined themes;
	The return of the review sections; and
	Online forums.

In terms of content, TalkingCock.com will also be undergoing radical changes.

For a start, the original editorial team will be moving on.

"This is kind of sad, but also necessary," said Big Cock, the outgoing editor-in-chief. "Our spouses couldn't tahan it any longer and said it was time for us to get real jobs."

"If only..." said Big Cock, momentarily choking back tears. "... our kiam siap readers donated more money to us through Amazon.com!"

However, readers who have come to love the slightly demented and raunchy style of TalkingCock needn't fear.

The new TalkingCock team wishes to emphasise that it is not going corporate and will never sanitize its content.

"We want to keep that same mischievous and maverick quality our readers have come to treasure," said incoming chief editor Supreme Cock. "Which means they can expect lots of Singlish, and jokes in poor taste."

In fact, just like the old bunch, the new TalkingCock team is not being funded either and the site is remaining an all-volunteer venture.

"Unfortunately, in LPPL's takeover of the administration, they're donating only services and expertise, but not funding. This means that we still need to find a way to cover our costs, especially to pay for the new features," said Supreme Cock. "So please, please, please, readers! Keep donating to us through Amazon!"

To ease the transition, the old team will be retained as ad-hoc advisers as the new team, who have been understudying the old cocks over the past few months, move in.

Said deputy chief editor Subordinate Cock, "People can expect the same standard of cock, except more tua liap. Many of the old writers are staying on. It's just a new editorial process."

Plans are afoot to do more of our ever-popular cock games, as well as streaming media.

Readers can also look forward to a TalkingCock print publication in the near future.

"We've a lot of wild ideas," said Supreme Cock. "We hope readers will come along for the ride. Who knows what the future holds? TalkingCock radio? TalkingCock TV? All we know is that it'll be damn cock."

The launch date of the new TalkingCock site is expected to be sometime in SEPTEMBER 2001, and we're planning a special celebration. Sign on to our mailing list to be kept updated!

Also: due to the transition and handover, there will be no update for the week beginning 23 July 2001. Service will resume on 30 July 2001.