Hello, culture
vultures! 'Tis I, Artie Fatt, your resident arts maven back with you again!
This week, I intend to
share with you my thoughts on the National Day Parade, the nation's largest and
possibly most important cultural event.
And I'm not so
concerned with the actual parade items or performances themselves, because let's
face it, their symbolism is so heavy-handed and didactic, they can't possibly be
artistic.
Rather, I wanted
to look at the process of putting up such a massive event - the
construction of the huge stage, the setting up of the huge props, etc.
I have, after
all, always had a deep and abiding interest in large erections.
And besides, I
have always believed that the best way to examine art is to see it
stripped bare.
So I decided to
go undercover and mingle with the boys of the 9 Division, this year's
organizers, to get a close up look at the whole procedure. (Of
course, with any luck, I'd also go undercover with the boys and strip them
bare. Tee hee!)
So I managed to
ingratiate myself with the delightfully-named Lance Corporal Soh Do Mee,
who agreed to take me on a personal tour of the parade grounds.
Naturally, this
little trip was unauthorized, and I had to sneak in through a rear
entrance, but I didn't mind. I have, after all, been a back door man for
many years now.
He started by
showing me the large globe that they would be raising above the stadium to
represent how Singapore is to be linked to the rest of the world.
Interestingly, the globe is actually not a complete sphere, but is instead
a hollow half-sphere. Which led me to wonder about the unintended
symbolism of it all - what empty promise are we actually linking ourselves
to?
This continued
when LCP Soh showed me the stage where the choir would be
stationed.
At the base of
the stage was a scaled-down replica of the Sheares Bridge, which was meant
to symbolize how Singapore would be embarking on a journey into the
future. The choice of the Sheares Bridge, however, may prove both
somewhat unfortunate, as well as prescient in the face of the current
recession. This is because as far as I recall, there is a speed
camera along the way which causes people to slow down, and sometimes
results in a traffic jam.
I also saw the
geometric shaped costumes that the schoolkids were to use when they
perform the dance of creativity in education. Well, I guess it is an
accurate representation of our education system - being enclosed in a
mathematical structure while someone else is barking orders at you.
The double
entendres inherent in so many of the parade elements began to make me
wonder whether they had actually been missed, or whether it was all
deliberate - a huge snigger on the part of the designers.
Did I dare dream
that these erstwhile propagandists were in fact purveyors of a postmodern
message of mischief?
A little frisson
of delight ran down my spine, and I swiftly turned to LCP Soh and asked
him to take me immediately to the fireworks.
However, he said
that the explosives were out of bounds to lower ranks like him, so I told
him then we would have to compromise. I told him I would accept the
disappointment of not seeing the pyrotechnics, if he would only show me
his own personal spurt of rocket emissions.
And let's just
say, my personal tour ended with a bang, all right.
And as for the
NDP proper? Well, I felt that after having traversed the backstage, I had
seen all I needed to see.
And thanks to
LCP Soh, I even managed to grab a fun pack of my own, in advance.
It's a special
edition too... it comes (and I mean comes) in military green!
Stand up for
Singapore!
- Artie
Ars longa, vita brevis
(the longer the arse, the more vital the briefs)
-with thanks to Dan Kok
