Businessmen Urge Productivity Board's Portal To Be More Productive
by Michael Bloombird

The Productivity and Standards Board (PSB) launched its new portal, www.partnersingapore.org, to help Singaporean businesses locate foreign business opportunities, only to find that many local businessmen want more than just information about potential business partners.

"The gahmen wants to help businessmen in our overseas business affairs," said Mr. Seng Lee Choe of Exim Impex Importer-Exporter (S) Pte Ltd. "But then, their wepsite don'ch help'ch us with one of the prembry objectives of businessmen - to have affairs overseas. Got 'org' in their name for what, if they don'ch help'ch us find orgasms?"

According to the president of the Chinese Horizontally-Excited Entrepreneur Kinsmen Organisation (CHEEKO), Mr. Chuay Char Bor, "Business is not just about dollars and cents, it's about actually engaging in foreign relations. You think what?  We just fax some company and then the deal is done, ah?  No! Got a lot of KTVing in between!"

CHEEKO members are encouraging the PSB to put more useful information on the site than just video conferencing, venture capital and legal advice.

"At least list all the KTV launges and massage parlours in each major city, lah!" said Mr. Chuay. "And maybe where to get a good perm."

The PSB is reviewing CHEEKO's suggestions. 

"We want to do everything we can to help Singapore's businessmen," said PSB spokesperson Mr. Bee Tee Mee. "And if this kind of information is what they want, then we shall do everything we can to obtain it.  As it is, a contingent of our agents are conducting a thorough review of red light districts in all major Southeast Asian capitals to ensure that we list only the best."

"God, I love this job!" said PSB agent Mr. Chee Tsao Kuay, currently on assignment in Bangkok.

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