H

HA? (contributed by Terry How)
Super contraction of "Could you please repeat that again?" The equivalent of "What?"
Ah Lien:  "Eh Beng, my period two months didn't come oreddy, maybe got baby...how?"
Ah Beng: "Ha? Talk after football game can or not?"

HA NI AH PA, LUM PAH HOR LI KAR (contributed by AA)
Vulgar Hokkien phrase used when responding to a stupid person saying "Ha?" It literally means, "Ha your father, suck my balls". Sometimes abbreviated to "ha ki lum pah".
See: Ha Ki Lum Pah

HABIS (Hah-base)
Malay for "finished" or "end".
1. "Alamak, masuk two goals already! Habis lah!"
2. "If the boss see you tuang like that, you sure habis, man!" 

HALF PAST SIX (contributed by 12 O'Cock)
Describing something or someone as being half-baked or incompetent, the term is actually a sexual reference to the angle of the dangle of the male organ. Half past six is weak, but quarter past three or 9:45 is very strong!.
“Wah piang eh, why your company so half past six one, this sort of easy thing also can cock-up.”  
See: Chap Sar Tiam; Kucing Kurap.

HAN NA! (hahn- nah) (contributed by Lee Wee Chong)
Local exclamation meaning "Enough already!", often said in exasperation.
Beng: "You know hor.. your shirt berry ugly leh..."
Seng: "HAN NA!!!"
See Also: Ya Lah!

HAN TSE (hun tss) (contributed by AA)
Hokkien for "sweet potato". Often used to scold idiots. How this came to be used on dumb people is unclear, but it's believed that as morons often utter, "Orh", and "orh" sounds like Hokkien for "yam", replying with a different tuber is seen as witty.  Who says Hokkien is an unsophisticated language?
Beng: "...and that's how babies are born. Understand, not?"
Seng: "Orh!"
Beng: "'Orh' your head, lah! Han tse!"

HANTAM (hun-tahm) 
A Malay word meaning to beat or hit.
“Don’t go and disturb him while he so busy. He sure hantam you one.” 

HAO LIAN
Arrogant, cocky or smug. Can be used as a verb.
1.  “That asshole is si peh hao lian.”
2.  “Just because your letter got publish in the ‘Forum’ page, no need to hao lian around here, okay!”
3.  “Hao lian meh?” (What’s there to be arrogant about?)

HAO SEOW (contributed by Terry How)
See also: Ji Seow  

HAPPY LIKE BIRD
Complete euphoria.
"You going to ORD in six days? Like that, must be happy like bird!"

HAVOC
Used to describe a wild child, or someone who’s promiscuous.
“Ah Lien is damn havoc one.” 

HAWK ONE OR KOH ONE? (contributed by Edwin)
Phrase used by soya bean drink sellers to inquire if you wish your drink to be hot or cold.

HAYWIRING ALL OVER THE SHOP (contributed by KC)
This phrase refers to a state of confusion and disorder throughout an organisation or place. It is of course an army term and quite close in meaning to the American 'SNAFU' (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up). The theory is that it is a unique Singapore fusion of 2 terms, the American term HAYWIRING, which derives from the way an old fashioned hay- baling machine would jam if a bit of wire was accidentally fed in with the hay, and the English term 'SHOP' which is not related to retail space, but refers to the main workspace in a factory, the' shop floor'.
"Why you all like that? Small problem and you're haywiring all over the shop!"  

HEAN TOH (hee-un toe) (contributed by Kanna Kuay Kio)
Hokkien for "flip the table". Originated from clashes between secret society members. Preludes to these fights always consisted of someone flipping over a table. Used frequently as a challenge to a fight or cheerful bantering between friends.
"Eh, you stare what? Buay song izzit? Wan' to hean toh, ah?"

HECK CARE
An expression either used to describe someone as nonchalant or cavalier, or to exhort someone to ignore something.
1. "This sort of serious thing, how can you be so heck care?"
2. "Ah Beng bothering you again? Aiyah, heck care him, lah!"

HELICOPTER/CHINESE HELICOPTER
An adjective used to describe a Chinese-educated person. It originated in the Army where the term Chinese- "educated" rapidly evolved through successive mispronunciation from "educated"... "edicated".... "edicotted".... "edicopter"..., eventually settling on "helicopter"! Often pronounced “helicotter” for added emphasis.
“My platoon is full of helicopter one.” 

HENG
A Hokkien word meaning “lucky” or “fortunate”.  Usually said after having escaped a tight spot, or avoided a near miss.
1.  “As soon as you left, the boss came out to arrow people. You damn heng one.”
2.  “Heng ah! The policeman didn’t see me shoot the red light.”   

HENG KAO KAN (contributed by Gabriel Png)
A Hokkien term which literally means "to be given to a dog for fucking". Used as an expression of extreme frustration.
"Na beh I buy SCORE! two goals, then they go and score three. Heng kao kan, siah!"

HENTAK KAKI
A Malay army drill command meaning to "march in place".  Outside of the military, it is used to denote someone whose career has stagnated either by choice or incompetence.
"Ah Beng used to be a high-flyer, but now he just hentak kaki."

HEONG (hyong)
Hokkien for “strong” or "fierce". 
"Wah lau, his B.O. is damn heong."
See also: Powderful; Siong.

HERO
Has the same meaning as in English, but often connotes either a foolhardy person or someone out to grab attention.
1. "Just pass, can oreddy.  Why try and score A? You hero or what?"
2. "This sort of thing don't go and do. Don't be hero."

HIAO/HIAO LAY LAY
A Hokkien term describing someone as flirtatious and/or vain. The "Lay Lay" is added for emphasis. Can be used as a verb.
1.  “Look at Jane in her mini skirt. Si beh hiao, man.”
2.  “Aiyah, she always wear jeans tight-tight. Very hiao lay lay one.”
3.  “She wear so much makeup because she wan' to go and hiao lay lay, lor.”
See also: Hiao Mi.  

HIAO MI
A flirtatious and vain girl.
“Don’t be such a hiao mi, can or not?”
See:  Hiao.

HO GAI SIAO (contributed by Terry How)
This Hokkien phrase expresses regret over having taken in bad advice.
"Ah Beng tell me go to No. 90-052 Geylang Lorong 69 look for "Tiffany"…say she have damn jude one…Wah lan eh! Dinc’h know she sooo pooi one…damn ho gai siao!"

HO SAY
Hokkien exclamation denoting satisfaction, or enthusiastic endorsement.
1. Beng: "Eh, I belanja you makan tonight, okay?"
    Seng: "Ho say, ah!"
2. "His company IPO oreddy, he sure ho say liao."

HOJJIBER/HORRIJIBER (contributed by Egwin)
Acceptable Singlish variant pronunciations of "Horrible".
1. "Wah lau, simple thing like this, how can do until so hojjiber one?"
2. "I just saw that 'Hannibal' flim. Damn horrijiber one."

HOKKIEN PENG
The quintessential private soldier - salt of the earth, if not downright earthy. Forms the foundation of our armed forces, and the persons without whom this Lexicon would not be possible.

HONG KAN
A very rude Hokkien phrase meaning, "asking for it". Literally, “wanting to be fucked”.
“Why you stare at me? Hong kan is it?” 

HOONG KEE (contributed by zx)
Hokkien for 'cigarette'.
"Eh, go outside and take a hoon kee break, ai mai?"

HOOT
The quintessential Ah Beng term for “fight” or “beat up”.
1.  “You go and stare at the Ah Beng, sure kena hoot.”
2.  “Ai tio hoot ah?” (Do you want to be beaten up?)

HOR
Another Singlish tag, used like a punctuation mark.
"He, hor, very kan cheong one."
See also:  Lah; Leh; Lor; Meh.

HORLAN (contributed by Desmond)
Deliberate mispronunciation of "Holland". Of uncertain origin, the term is used to denote finding oneself in a far-off place, or unexpected consequence, usually unpleasant. Some have posited that the term may derive from the Hokkien predilection to incorporate the word "Lan" into their speech, and there is some basis for this belief, as the Taiwanese reportedly use the word "Horlan" to denote "bullshitting".
1. "Wah lau, now we know the bugger made us go to Horlan!"
2. "Ah Beng reported us to the Principal? Horlan liao, lah!"

HORLUMPICK (contributed by Desmond)
Singlish mispronunciation of "Olympics", usually by the older generation.
"Eh, you got watch the Sydney Horlumpick, not?"

HORN
To sound the horn of one’s car. Used as a verb.
“Why is the car in front of us so slow? Horn the bugger!”  

HOW CAN
In true Singaporean economical style, this is a contraction of "How can this be?" or "How can this be possible?"  Originates from the Malay-Hokkien hybrid phrase, "Mana eh sai?"
"Ah Beng became a President's Scholar? How can?"
See also: Mana Eh Sai

HOW SEOW (contributed by Sian Tao Ong)
Very rude Hokkien term meaning "nonsense" or bullshit".  "Seow" in Hokkien means "sperm".
"You always talk too much. Don't how seow, lah!"

HUAT SIO (contributed by Mike Soo)
Hokkien for "fever" or getting hot under the collar, or to describe someone as crazy.
1. "Piang eh, everytime I see Ah Lien only, I huat sio, man!"
2. "Aiyah, that huat sio one come oreddy!" (Oh no, that nut has arrived!)

HUM KAR CHAN (contributed by AA)
Cantonese curse, meaning "Whole Family Die".

HUM PAH LANG/CHA PAH LANG
Means "everything", and may connote a lack of discrimination. Possibly derived from the Malay term "hamparan", which means 'carpet' or 'cover'.
"Wah lau, so kiasu, hum pah lang also want!"

HUM SUP LOH
Cantonese term literally meaning, "salty and wet fellow". A dirty old man.
See: Chee Ko Pek

I

IF COCK CAN TALK, CHEE BYE CAN KAH PAGER (contributed by revolushun)
An especially rude retort used against someone who just exclaimed "Talk cock, lah!"

IMMEELLY
The proper pronunciation of "immediately".
"When I heard that the lottery went up to $5 million, I immeely go and buy."

IRON RINGS (contributed by Justin Lee)
The proper pronunciation of "onion rings".
Ah Beng: "So what side dishes do you want with your chicken chop?" 
Ah Seng: " I wan' fry, salad and iron rings."

IS IT?
A phrase that’s tagged on to virtually any question.  It is also used on its own to express skepticism.
1.  “You got mail, is it?” (You’ve received mail, have you?”)
2.  Beng:  “I got accepted into Harvard.”
     Seng:  “Is it?”  

ITCHY BACKSIDE
A rather picturesque description of a restive person, i.e. someone who does something disruptive out of boredom.
Ah Beng: "Why you go and potong jalan Ah Teck's girlfriend?"
Ah Seng: "Aiyah, just itchy backside, lor."

J

JAMBU (jum-boo)
Adjective used by Mats to describe the pulchritude of their women.  Derived from the common name of a juicy, plump local fruit, the jambu (Syzygium samarangense, known to orang putihs as the Wax Apple or Java Apple).
"Adoi, check out that minah, man. Super jambu, sial."
See also: Jude

JANGAN CATASTROPHE
Where a Mat Roker might ask one to “jangan tension”, the Cambridge-educated metropolitan Malay of today would use this phrase to calm you down.
See also: Mat; Jangan Tension; Relac; Maintain Balan. 

Jangan Tension
A Mat-ism, it is an exhortation to keep one’s cool.
See also: Relac; Jangan Catastrophe; Maintain Balan; Mat. 

JI SEOW (jee see-ow)
To provoke, irritate or disturb. The original Hokkien term from which this is derived means to titillate sexually.
"Eh, I'm si beh busy now. Don't come and ji seow me."

JIBRA
The proper way to pronounce “Zebra”.
“There got jibra crossing, why you must jaywalk?” 

JILO
The proper way to pronounce “Zero”.
“Your test how come can get jilo one?”   

JUANG LAH (contributed by Human Bear)
Of uncertain origin, this phrase probably derives from the Malay word "juang" meaning to fight or struggle. However, in Singlish, it has ironically come to be an expression of resignation or nonchalance, similar to "Whatever" or "Anything".
1. Ah Beng: "He everytime say you, you don'ch care, meh?"
    Ah Seng:  "Juang lah! Let him say, lah!"
2. Ah Check: "Eh, what you want to eat tonight, ah?"
    Ah Soh: "Juang lah, anything also can."

JUDE (joot)
"Pretty." Of uncertain provenance.
"Convent girls are all damn jude."
See also: Chio