Do We Have To Spell It
Out For You? (contributed by Slyful)
The kindergarten class resumed after recess. Peter walks into the
classroom.
"Peter, what did you do during recess?" the teacher asks.
"I've been playing in the sand box with Jane," said Peter.
"Good. Spell 'Sand' on the blackboard and I'll give yo u a cookie."
So Peter spells S-A-N-D and gets a cookie.
Then Jane walks in. The teacher asks, "Jane, what did you do
during
recess?"
"I've been playing in the sand box with Peter."
"Good. Now spell 'Box' on the blackboard and I'll give yo u a cookie."
So Jane spells B-O-X and gets a cookie.
Then Balasubramaniam s/o Thangavelu walks in.
"Balasubranamian, what did you do during recess?"
"I tried to play in the sand box with Peter and Jane, but they threw
sand at
me and chased me out."
"Threw sand at you and chased you out? Why, that is horrible! That is
an
example of Blatant Racial Discrimination!"
Then the teacher continued: "Balasubramaniam, if you can spell 'Blatant
Racial Discrimination' on the blackboard, I'll give you a cookie."
Heads up! (contributed
by Benzai)
How do you make a Mama explode?
Press the red button on his forehead.
Taken for a Ride (contributed
by jahatman)
Have you ever wondered why Bhais like to ride in scooters?
Because they like the sound of the throbbing engine "Turban, Turban, Turban!"
Air India
Surinder Singh's uncle was booked into an Air India flight to
Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few
preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take
orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought
my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as
everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own
home-cooked meal.
The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher
and was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he
asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of
India!"
Then the uncle took out several pieces of chappatis and started
feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.
"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.
Finally, the uncle took
out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?"
asked the American. "Sweets of India!" replied the old man.
After the
meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "pooooooooot!"
sound from the uncle. "What was that?" asked the American,
holding his nose in disgust. The old man replied coolly, "That's Air
India."
How Singapore Got Its Name
When Raffles sailed up the Singapore River for
the first time, he saw a Malay woman taking a bath in the river. She had
left her clothes on the river bank. As Raffles sailed by, he saw a bhai
sneak up and steal her clothes. The upset woman started shouting after the
thief, "Singh kapoh! Singh kapoh!"
Just Passing Through
A Sikh was on his way to Khalsa Club when he decided
to take a short-cut through somebody's garden. The owner comes out angrily:
Owner: Hey, do you know you are trespassing?
Sikh: No, I'm Jaspar Singh.
Bhai/"Singh" Riddles
What is the study of Sikhs called?
Bhai-ology.
What is the study of young Sikhs?
Microbhailogy.
What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh
undergo?
A bhaipass.
What do you call a young Bhai?
A Singh-let!
What is the official mode of transport for Bhais?
Bhaicycles!
What do you call a Bhai who celebrates Mother's
Day?
Amarjit Singh!
What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope?
Balan Singh!
What do you call a Bhai with only one testicle?
Balwant Singh!
What do you call a Bhai pharmacist?
Dispen Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs?
Gin Singh!
What do you call a unique Bhai?
Justwan Singh!
What do you call an alcoholic Bhai?
Jagbir Singh!
What do you call a Bhai in a swimming pool?
Kuldip Singh!
What do you call a Sikh swimming
UNDERWATER in the pool?
Kuldip Singh Gill.
What do you call a Bhai who's coming only
tomorrow?
Mahjit Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who lives between
Singapore and Kuantan?
Mer Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who's lost?
Mis Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who keeps turning round in
circles?
Pu Singh (pusing)
What do you call an idle Bhai?
Relac Singh!
What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you
every three days?
Sarjit Singh!
What do you call a Bhai in shock?
Surpri Singh!
What do you call a Bhai doctor?
Tantock Singh!
What was the Six Million Dollar Bhai also called?
The Bhai-onic man!
What do you call a Bhai wife-abuser?
Rotten to the Kaur!
What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a
Cantonese criminal gang?
Dai Kaur!
What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for
Playboy?
Bohcheng Kaur!
What was Mrs. Singh called when she acted in a
porno movie?
Hard Kaur!
What do you call a Bhai who
drinks only beer?
Jasbir Singh.
What about the Sikh who likes tao hway
chwee?
Yeo Heap Singh.
What do you call a Sikh driving a flashy red BMW who cuts into
your lane?
Tiu Lei Ah Singh.
What do you call a Sikh who wants to make a U-turn?
(contributed by
anonymous)
Kebelakangpu Singh
What is a Bhai's favorite Christmas Carol?
(contributed by R. Gomes)
Hark The Herald Angels Singh!
What do you call a Sikh who doesn't bathe but always
goes to the disco? (contributed by R.
Gomes)
A Dirty DanSingh
Did you hear about the Sikh ambulance?
Its siren goes Babu, Babu, Babu...
Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers?
(contributed by Edwin)
Because when you enter their shop to buy
something, you are the buyer; which makes them the buyee.
Why are there so many Sikh money
changers in Singapore? (contributed by Edwin)
Because they like to deal in Sing dollars.
What do you call a Sikh who is drunk? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Yum Singh
What do you call a Sikh who is a gangster? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Sum Singh
What do you call a Sikh who is noisy? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Bisingh (bising is Malay for 'noisy')
What do you call a Sikh who killed Indira Gandhi?
(contributed by Gerald Soo)
Assassingh
What were Indira Gandhi's farewell words? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Bhai, bhai
What do you call a Sikh who swims underwater in a
swimming pool? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Kuldip Singh Gill
What do you call a Sikh parking attendant? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Pakir Singh
What do you call a Sikh who is friendly to
Americans? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Pal Singh
What do you call a Sikh who works very hard? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Choor Singh
What do you call a Sikh who is blind? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Buta Singh
What do you call a two-wheeled vehicle for Sikhs?
(contributed by Gerald Soo)
A bhai-cycle
What do you call a Sikh who uses insecticide? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Bhai-gon.
What do you call a Sikh who is recovering from
surgery? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Convales Singh
Who is the Sikhs' favourite pop musician? (contributed
by Gerald Soo)
Barry Manilow, because he wrote the hits "I Write The Songs That Make The
Whole World Singh"
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