Mama and Bhai Jokes
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Do We Have To Spell It Out For You? (contributed by Slyful)

The kindergarten class resumed after recess. Peter walks into the  classroom.

"Peter, what did you do during recess?" the teacher asks.
"I've been playing in the sand box with Jane," said Peter.

"Good. Spell 'Sand' on the blackboard and I'll give yo u a cookie."
So Peter spells S-A-N-D and gets a cookie.

Then Jane walks in. The teacher asks, "Jane, what did you do during  recess?"
"I've been playing in the sand box with Peter."

"Good. Now spell 'Box' on the blackboard and I'll give yo u a cookie."
So Jane spells B-O-X and gets a cookie.

Then Balasubramaniam s/o Thangavelu walks in.

"Balasubranamian, what did you do during recess?"
"I tried to play in the sand box with Peter and Jane, but they threw  sand at  me and chased me out."

"Threw sand at you and chased you out? Why, that is horrible! That is  an  example of Blatant Racial Discrimination!"
Then the teacher continued: "Balasubramaniam, if you can spell 'Blatant  Racial Discrimination' on the blackboard, I'll give you a cookie."

Heads up! (contributed by Benzai)

How do you make a Mama explode? 
Press the red button on his forehead.

Taken for a Ride (contributed by jahatman)

Have you ever wondered why Bhais like to ride in scooters?
Because they like the sound of the throbbing engine "Turban, Turban, Turban!"

Air India

Surinder Singh's uncle was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. 

When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. 

The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!" 

Then the uncle took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly. 

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweets of India!" replied the old man. 

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "pooooooooot!" sound from the uncle. "What was that?" asked the American, holding his nose in disgust. The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India."

How Singapore Got Its Name

When Raffles sailed up the Singapore River for the first time, he saw a Malay woman taking a bath in the river.  She had left her clothes on the river bank.  As Raffles sailed by, he saw a bhai sneak up and steal her clothes.  The upset woman started shouting after the thief, "Singh kapoh! Singh kapoh!"

Just Passing Through

A Sikh was on his way to Khalsa Club when he decided to take a short-cut through somebody's garden. The owner comes out angrily: 
Owner: Hey, do you know you are trespassing? 
Sikh: No, I'm Jaspar Singh. 

Bhai/"Singh" Riddles

What is the study of Sikhs called?
Bhai-ology.

What is the study of young Sikhs? 
Microbhailogy. 

What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh undergo?
A bhaipass. 

What do you call a young Bhai?
A Singh-let!

What is the official mode of transport for Bhais?
Bhaicycles!

What do you call a Bhai who celebrates Mother's Day?
Amarjit Singh!

What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope?
Balan Singh!

What do you call a Bhai with only one testicle?
Balwant Singh!

What do you call a Bhai pharmacist?
Dispen Singh!

What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs?
Gin Singh!

What do you call a unique Bhai?
Justwan Singh!

What do you call an alcoholic Bhai?
Jagbir Singh!

What do you call a Bhai in a swimming pool?
Kuldip Singh!

What do you call a Sikh swimming UNDERWATER in the pool? 
Kuldip Singh Gill. 

What do you call a Bhai who's coming only tomorrow?
Mahjit Singh!

What do you call a Bhai who lives between Singapore and Kuantan?
Mer Singh!

What do you call a Bhai who's lost?
Mis Singh!

What do you call a Bhai who keeps turning round in circles?
Pu Singh (pusing)

What do you call an idle Bhai?
Relac Singh!

What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you every three days?
Sarjit Singh!

What do you call a Bhai in shock?
Surpri Singh!

What do you call a Bhai doctor?
Tantock Singh!

What was the Six Million Dollar Bhai also called?
The Bhai-onic man! 

What do you call a Bhai wife-abuser?
Rotten to the Kaur!

What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a Cantonese criminal gang?
Dai Kaur!

What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for Playboy?
Bohcheng Kaur!

What was Mrs. Singh called when she acted in a porno movie?
Hard Kaur! 

What do you call a Bhai who drinks only beer?
Jasbir Singh.

What about the Sikh who likes tao hway chwee? 
Yeo Heap Singh.

What do you call a Sikh driving a flashy red BMW who cuts into your lane? 
Tiu Lei Ah Singh.

What do you call a Sikh who wants to make a U-turn? (contributed by anonymous)
Kebelakangpu Singh

What is a Bhai's favorite Christmas Carol? (contributed by R. Gomes)
Hark The Herald Angels Singh!

What do you call a Sikh who doesn't bathe but always  goes to the disco?
(contributed by R. Gomes)
A Dirty DanSingh

Did you hear about the Sikh ambulance?
Its siren goes Babu, Babu, Babu...

Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers? (contributed by Edwin)
Because when you enter their shop to buy something, you are the buyer; which makes them the buyee.

Why are there so many Sikh money changers in Singapore? (contributed by Edwin)
Because they like to deal in Sing dollars.

What do you call a Sikh who is drunk? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Yum Singh

What do you call a Sikh who is a gangster? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Sum Singh

What do you call a Sikh who is noisy? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Bisingh (bising is Malay for 'noisy')

What do you call a Sikh who killed Indira Gandhi? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Assassingh

What were Indira Gandhi's farewell words? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Bhai, bhai

What do you call a Sikh who swims underwater in a swimming pool? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Kuldip Singh Gill

What do you call a Sikh parking attendant? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Pakir Singh

What do you call a Sikh who is friendly to Americans? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Pal Singh

What do you call a Sikh who works very hard? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Choor Singh

What do you call a Sikh who is blind? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Buta Singh

What do you call a two-wheeled vehicle for Sikhs? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
A bhai-cycle

What do you call a Sikh who uses insecticide? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Bhai-gon.

What do you call a Sikh who is recovering from surgery? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Convales Singh

Who is the Sikhs' favourite pop musician? (contributed by Gerald Soo)
Barry Manilow, because he wrote the hits "I Write The Songs That Make The Whole World Singh"

Got more jokes? Send them to jokes@talkingcock.com

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