We received a deluge of mail last week, thanks to our mention in Parliament.

Of course, this isn't the first time that there's been talk of cock in Parliament House.

In David Marshall's Political Interlude (written by Alex Josey, Eastern Universities Press, 1982), the then Minister of Law accused our Chief Minister of talking "a lot of cock" in Parliament.  Herewith a short extract from Hansard, the record of Parliament:

Minister of Law: Mr. Speaker, Sir, listening to a lot of cock from the Member of Anson, I do not propose - 

Speaker:  Order, I am wondering whether the word 'cock' is parliamentary or not.

A Member: Yes, Minister.

Speaker: Order. If the Minister will explain what he means by 'cock', then I will decide whether or not it is parliamentary or unparliamentary.

Minister: That it is a lot of hooey, if you will allow me to associate cock with hooey.

Speaker: Order.  Hooey is not the same as chop suey, is it? Let us forget all these words and get on with the business of the day.

Of course, people still recall former opposition MP Ling How Doong's ejaculation of "Don't talk cock!" in Parliament, for which he was reprimanded.

And thanks to us, talking cock was the order of the day in Parliament for the third time in its history! 

This time round, the issue was whether we should register with the Singapore Broadcast Authority as a political site in an exchange between Opposition MP Low Thia Kiang and Ministers Lee Yock Suan and Wong Kan Seng, which went as follows: 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: Clarification, Sir. What I want to know is if a website which is not under the Class Licence Scheme posts something on the web during the election period and supports a political party, for instance, is it liable under the amendment? 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: Then we will have to see the actual situation. But, as I said, the intention is to go after the popular sites, the main sites of parties and non-party political sites. If it is an individual, eg, a young man posting up his own site and says "These are my views", we are not going to go after those people. We are only after the main broadcast medium, and an email is in the nature of private mail. It just happens to be on the Internet. So our intention is not to go after those but, at the same time, it is perfectly feasible for a member to arrange to send all kinds of messages through mass mailing and defeat the regulations. That is why we will have to study carefully how we can regulate the situation. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: Sir, I do not think the Minister is clear. What I want to know is, for instance, Talkingcock.com is not under the Class Licence Scheme. During the election period, eg, the website publishes some political speeches of opposition candidates or have certain comments on the election. Will the web master or whoever posts it there be liable under the Bill? That is what I want to know. 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: Well, we will have to study the law. But my impression is that they are liable. Of course, they are outside Singapore, and  whether we can catch them is something else. But whoever targets Singaporeans, our laws will apply to them. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: Mr Speaker, Sir, clarification. In other words, the Minister is saying that any website within Singapore and can be prosecuted under Singapore law will be brought under this Bill. Is that correct? Not only political websites with a Class Licence but any website? 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: The intention is to make the rules clear for the main parties involved in the contest, in other words, the party websites. These are the areas we are mainly after. But we are aware also that some of the so-called neutral sites, eg, Think Centre, they are obviously political in nature, their publications are slanted towards particular parties. So we also have to rope those in. Those will be our main targets. At the other end, there will be the individual websites which we are not concerned about. In between is a gray area. So it is a bit difficult for me to be very specific now. We will have to see what actually happens.  

Mr Low Thia Khiang: Mr Speaker, Sir, in other words, anything can happen because the Minister does not know what will happen. Anything could happen during the election period to any website that publishes anything that relates to political campaigns. Is that so? 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: The Government will be very reasonable and fair in whatever action it takes. And whatever action it takes has to be defended. If we are seen to be unreasonable, that might cost us votes. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: In other words, is the Minister saying that whether a website that is going to publish anything, any opinion, during the election period of any candidate or political party, there is a possibility that it can be liable under the Act, depending on the Government's reason or how reasonable the Government is? Is that so? 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: The position will be clear when the regulations have been drafted. Right now we are debating it in the absence of actual wording of the regulations. The regulations will be fair, they are meant to maintain a level playing field, and we should wait for the regulations before we pass judgement. The intention is not to go after everybody. We think that the campaigning should be done by the party sites openly. Standing behind their platforms, their views, a lot of things can be done on the Internet. They can have chats, forums, speeches and their views. They can pick. They cannot have political films, because these are disallowed. Other than that, almost anything that you can think of is allowed. But if besides that, there are other sites actively campaigning for a particular party, then we would have to see what actions we should take on those sites. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang rose --- 

Mr Speaker: Order. Mr Low, it appears to me that you are raising fresh points which you should have raised in your speech. If you are making clarifications, you have to seek clarifications on something which the Minister has said and not try to raise fresh points. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: Yes, Sir. 

The Minister for Home Affairs (Mr Wong Kan Seng): Sir, before he seeks clarification, can I just add to this point that Mr Lee Yock Suan was trying to explain? This Bill covers political parties and political sites as defined or registered by SBA as political sites. For example, the Think Centre has been gazetted as a political site and is therefore covered by this Bill. Anything else is not covered by this Bill. That is my understanding of it. Mr Low asked about Talkingcock.com. Today it is not registered as a political site, not that I know of. So it is not covered. But should it be involved in political discussions, should it be involved in the way that Think Centre has been involved, then we will consider including it as a political site. That is my understanding. I understand that there is also a new site called JamesGomez@yahoo or whatever it is. If it is based in Singapore, doing the same thing as he did in Think Centre, we may also consider gazetting that as a political site. 

Mr Low Thia Khiang: May I seek a clarification? The Minister just now mentioned that it will be clearer if the regulations are ready. I would like to ask him whether it is fair, since the regulations are not ready to present a Bill in Parliament and he wants us to pass something that is not clear. 

Mr Lee Yock Suan: The other Members have no problem supporting the Bill, including Mr Chiam. I think the position is about 95% clear. Question put, and agreed to. 

Well, entertaining as this may all be, we here at TalkingCock.com wish to lay certain things to rest once and for all, even though we have stressed it many times before. (Journalists, please take note.  Any omission of these statements in your articles on us will be interpreted as wilful, and malicious.)

WE ARE NOT A POLITICAL SITE. We are no more political than The Onion, Mad Magazine or Private Eye in the US or the UK. We poke fun at politicians and politics only insofar as they form part of the general fabric of our society.  We are a simple satirical site.

WE DO NOT HAVE ANY PARTICULAR POLITICAL AGENDA and WE WILL NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR POLITICAL PARTY. (Anyway, we can't imagine any party really wanting the endorsement of a site with our name - surely the kiss of death.)

Also, for Mr. Low's benefit, WE WILL NOT PUBLISH THE SPEECHES OF ANY EXISTING POLITICAL PARTY, or have any sensible comments on the elections or otherwise.  Our focus has, and always will be, on satirical humour.  And political speeches simply aren't funny.  At least, not intentionally so.

As for promoting or being involved in political discussions, we honestly couldn't care less.  In case you haven't noticed, there is NO DISCUSSION ON THIS SITE, about politics or anything.  We don't care about discussion.  Discussions imply a rational debate between sensible parties. We just want to poke frivolous, irrational fun at all things Singaporean.  

As we say very prominently on our front page: DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE WRITE! Of course, we can't help it if our readers discuss our articles. So please, readers, after reading, don't talk to anyone about it. In fact, please don't think while reading either. The articles will seem even funnier then.

Lastly, FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO NOT USE WHAT WE WRITE AS A BASIS FOR YOUR VOTE IN THE NEXT ELECTION. That would be too cock, even for us.  

If anyone wants to accuse us of being chicken, so be it.  After all, what do you expect? We're called TalkingCock.com!

We hope we have been sufficiently clear.  This site was just set up by a bunch of bored Singaporeans working overseas to amuse ourselves.  We certainly did not foresee it becoming a cultural phenomenon, but thanks to the power of the Net, it has.  

And we hope the powers that be are sensible enough to see it as a mere reflection of the kind of idle banter that populates coffeeshops, dinner tables and pubs everywhere. It is the poetry of everyday Singapore life. 

It would be a shame if certain parties wish to construe an honest, heartfelt, popular and uniquely Singaporean product into something it is not, and thus ensure its swift demise. To mix poultry metaphors, that would be killing the cock that lays the golden egg. 

So if you value what we do and want to see us go on, tell your MP when he next comes round on his walkabout - you support TalkingCock!

Supreme Cock
Editor in Chief
USA, August 2001