Can Die (contributed by
Setzer)
There was this case in a hospital's intensive
care ward where patients
always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical
conditions.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do
with the supernatural. So the doctors decided to go down to that
particular ward to investigate the cause. Come Friday morning,
everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to
occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to
ward off evil....
As the time approached, their hearts began beating
anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........
.... Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner,
came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.
Starting
Young
One
day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a
Singaporean.
However,
someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate
between them.
However,
the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her
and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"
At
hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby
soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the
Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"
Drive You Mad
One day, Mr. Choe Seng Lee walked into a bank and asked for the loan
officer. He said he was going to Batam on Business for two days and needed to
borrow $5000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for the loan.
Mr. Choe then handed over the keys to his Mercedes that was parked on the
street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer
accepted the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee then drove the Mercedes
into the bank's carpark and parked it there. Two days later Mr. Choe returned
and
repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $13.07.
The loan officer
said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out
very nicely. But we are a bit puzzled. While you were away, we checked and found
that you are a very rich contractor. Why would you need to
borrow $5,000?"
Mr. Choe replied, "Aiyah, where else in
Singapore can I park
my car for 2 days for 13 dollars and with security officers to guard somemore?"
Democratic Blasphemy (contributed by
Edwin)
Why is it that Adam and Eve could not have
been Chinese?
Because if Satan took the form of a snake and tempted them to eat the
forbidden fruit, Eve would have said, "Quick, Adam! Catch the snake
also! Snake also can eat, mah!"
Why is it that Adam and Eve could not have
been Malay?
Because if Satan took the form of a snake and tempted them to eat the
forbidden fruit, both Adam and Eve would have said to him, "Relac lah!
Tomorrow also can eat!"
Why is that Adam and Eve could not have
been Indian?
Because they would have conned the snake into eating the apple.
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